A client just forwarded the following email on to me:

Good morning You need to read this. It’s free information that is critical to your business success provided by me, a Chester internet expert. The most searched term on Google for your business niche is [generic, industry-specific, geographically qualified phrase e.g. 'Web Design Chester']. For [said phrase] you appear in position 14 (page 2) but you need to be 10 or higher on page 1 as the vast majority of Google searchers only look at page 1. I am an expert in this field and I can deliver the results you need. I have done so for other local businesses including [business name removed to spare their blushes]. You are looking at an investment of less than £400. I am happy to give you further free expert advice with no obligation. This is a genuine and valuable offer. Could you tell me when you have time to sit down and discuss this for 30 minutes?

My first reaction is to laugh this off as just another unsolicited email; however as my client forwarded this to me, they obviously took enough notice to do something about it. This annoys me for a number of reasons. Not least the tone – “You need to read this”, “…critical to your business success”, “…me, a Chester internet expert”.

The email was signed off with the sender’s website address and the tag line “Digital Design, Online Marketing, Search Engine Optimisation”, so I though I’d Google this phrase and obviously see our friend sitting happily at the number one spot? – Nope. Perhaps individually? “Digital Design” – Zip, “Online Marketing” – Zero, “Search Engine Optimisation” – Nada. Let’s be fair though and narrow down the field a bit – “Digital Design Chester”? – Zip (although we were number 2, which is nice), “Online Marketing Chester” – Zero… well I think you get the picture.

So now I’m starting to think that perhaps the Chester Internet Expert doesn’t actually use the Internet to promote himself, preferring instead to use unsolicited email. But wait, there was a client example referred to in the email (you’ll remember, I removed the name to save their blushes). Surely if I search for them using an obvious (and I do mean obvious) 2 word phrase, I’ll surely find them on top spot? Amazingly not!

If you’re reading this post and it dawns on you that you’re the sender in question, don’t take this as a personal attack – I don’t know you and we all need to put food on the table. I don’t begrudge anybody using ‘innovative’ promotional techniques, but you really hurt the whole industry when you add to a persistent problem whereby genuine providers who actually deliver high search engine rankings for their clients as a consequence of providing compelling and relevant content can be perceived negatively by prospective clients when compared to self-styled internet experts who’ve gotten hold of a copy of WebPosition, which they feel gives them license to make outlandish promises backed up by worthless guarantees – “Guaranteed number 1 position on Google [but only for your business name, address or tel]“.

I should also add that the email was tagged “High Importance” – Just to rub it in!